Do you have any advice about the exchange of rings?

Most couples choose to exchange rings on their wedding day and there are a few things to bear in mind for this important element of the ceremony:

• The first thing is to remember to bring the rings on the day! I've never had this happen yet, though it was a close call once when the Best Man 'temporarily mislaid' them. We were fortunate that the couple were getting married at the family home and he could dash inside to get them!
• If you have a particularly nervous Best Man, advise him not to handle the rings in case he drops them! If they're in a box, he can simply open the box and present it to the Celebrant to take the rings out.
• If your hands are hot, the ring can be a tight fit and you might experience some difficulty in getting it onto your partners finger. The first thing is not to worry about this - it happens to a lot of people and can actually be a sweet, funny and memorable part of the ceremony! Just take your time and it'll go on eventually! But if you want to be on the safe side, a little Vaseline smeared around the inside of each ring before the ceremony can help, as can bending the knuckle as you put the ring on.
• You might want to think about whether you want the Celebrant to handle your rings or not. Personally I like to hold them for a moment and talk about the symbolism of the rings on your wedding day. I would then pass them to you to place on each others' finger, whilst repeating a few simple words such as:

"Paul, I give you this ring as a symbol of our love and marriage"

• You could also consider having a wedding band 'warming'. This involves the rings (usually tied together with ribbon) being passed around all of your guests in turn, for them to hold (and 'warm') for a moment of silent thought and well wishing for your marriage. Each person passes the rings on to the next guest, until everyone has held them. And then suitably 'warmed' by everyone, you can exchange them!

• Another thing to think about is what to do with your engagement ring and most brides transfer it to their right hand just before the ceremony and then move it back onto their left hand afterwards.
• Many couples stick with tradition and decide to give the Best Man the job of keeping the rings safe during the ceremony, but you might want to consider asking someone else - a friend or a member of each side of the family for example. If you have any children amongst your attendants, a Page Boy or Flower Girl could also be the ring bearer. This little ring bearer, Eve, was my youngest ever at just weeks old!

• Ring cushions are often used and if you have one, it's essential to tie the rings onto it so that they don't fall off if a wee one (or a big one come to that!) walks down the aisle with them (and by the way, they will of course steal the show!) It's best to practice tying and untying them because you don't want them to be either too tight and difficult to get off, or too loose so that there's a danger of them slipping off!

• They say that you should never work with kids or animals, but I don't agree! Owls and birds of prey can be used as ring bearers for weddings. And if you have a dog, why not consider having him or her as a ring bearer? There are of course only certain domestic pets you could do this with and it isn't going to work with the guinea pig! But if you have an obedient dog who isn't too excitable, why not consider it? These two (Teddy and Willis) even had little tartan pouches for the rings!

And when Irene and Steve got married at the top of Dumyat in 2007, their canine guests of honour almost outnumbered the human ones!

I've even had a horse attend a wedding, when Lorna and Vince were married at Solsgirth House


Anyway, I digress! If you have no-one to be a ring bearer or would prefer to hand them to your Celebrant before the ceremony, that's no problem. I usually put them into a nice dish, a quaich or a heart shaped wooden bowl until we need them.



Of course, you don't have to exchange wedding rings at all and sometimes only the bride (or groom) will have a ring. You might decide to exchange something else instead - a lovely fob watch for example:


Or a traditional Scottish luckenbooth brooch. Luckenbooth brooches are usually in the form of intertwined hearts and were traditionally given by the groom to the bride on their wedding day. They date back to the 16th century and were originally sold from locked booths (hence 'luckenbooth') around St. Giles Cathedral in Edinburgh. This style, with the letter M and a crown, were called Mary's Brooches, so called after Mary Queen of Scots was presented with one by her husband Lord Darnley. They have become a symbol of Scottish tradition, love and good luck.


Whatever you decide to exchange will have huge significance for you, both on the day and afterwards - a lasting reminder of the happiness you felt on your wedding day......

What's so special about Doune Castle?

Where do I start? Probably by admitting that I'm totally biased because Doune Castle is in my village! It's managed by Historic Scotland whose excellent weddings team based in Edinburgh will answer any queries and help you withyour booking. Anyway, I thought that it was about time I wrote something about my nearest wedding venue, especially as it also happens to be one of my dearest! So, what does it have that makes it so special?

• It's in a lovely setting for a start, but it's also very convenient for access because it's so close to Stirling and only 5 minutes off the end of the A9.
• It's an imposing building, but not too grand and formal

• Given that it dates back to the 14th century, it is remarkably well preserved and unlike some castles, it actually has a roof!
  
• There are several different parts of the castle that are suitable for a wedding ceremony - the Great Hall, the Lord's Hall and the kitchen for example

(Doune Castle, Great Hall)

(Doune Castle, Lord's Hall )

(Doune Castle, kitchen)

• The courtyard outside is nicely sheltered and a great place for your photos afterwards

• Inside the castle feels really special - it's cool, tranquil and atmospheric
• The acoustics for live music (piper, fiddle or clarsach in particular) are wonderful
  
• The wonderful Historic Scotland staff who run the castle are always obliging and helpful
• For those of you out there who are Monty Python fans, much of the film, 'The Holy Grail' was filmed at the castle! That connection just adds another element of fun to your day - you never know, you might hear the clop of horses hooves during your ceremony! Don't worry if you do because it'll just be the tourists borrowing the coconut shells from the shop to re-enact scenes from the film!

There are a few disadvantages, as there are with any venue:

• Unlike at Stirling Castle, you can't have your reception there, though you can serve drinks and nibbles
  
• There's a cobbled path up to the castle and then uneven steps to get into the Great Hall, so any elderly guests or those in stilettos need to take extra care

• There will be other visitors wandering around the castle (though the staff always make sure that the ceremony is undisturbed!)

I really can't think of any other disadvantages! It's a great place to get married and a great place for me as a Marriage Celebrant to conduct ceremonies.

If you decide to book the castle for your big day, you might want to consider the following local venues for your reception afterwards:

The Roman Camp Hotel in Callander
The Dunblane Hydro
The Dunmar in Alloa
The Royal Hotel at Bridge of Allan
The Park Lodge in Stirling
The Highland Hotel, Stirling
The Golden Lion Hotel, Stirling
The Albert Halls, Stirling

There are local pubs, hotels and halls that would be suitable for a smaller reception too. And if you're looking for accommodation for you or your guests, there are plenty of B&Bs around. Try:

Glenardoch House in Doune
The Woodside Hotel in Doune
Mackeanston House a couple of miles outside the village
Hillview Cottage a mile or so outside the village

There are quite a few lovely self catering cottages in the area too. For example:

Lochend Chalets at the Lake of Menteith
Kilbryde Castle, near Doune
The Gled Cottage, near Doune
Stable Cottage, near Doune
Cardross Holiday Homes near Port of Menteith

It's a lovely area to stay in and Doune is a very central location for exploring the Trossachs. Above all though, Doune Castle is a lovely and very special place to be married!

Can we get married on an island?

The short answer is yes, of course! You don't have to be on the Scottish mainland to have a legal humanist marriage - as long as the island is Scottish, that's fine. Theoretically, you could even get married on St. Kilda if you wanted to! If it was possible to arrange the practicalities anyway - it is Scotland's most remote island and very difficult to get to - you'd have to charter a boat and get special permission from The National Trust for Scotland who own it. Mind you, given that that's where I met my husband, I'd be bowled over if anyone ever asked me to conduct a marriage there!

You could of course travel to one of the many beautiful islands off the west coast for your wedding (Skye, Mull, Arran etc..) or up to the northern isles, but you could also marry on an inland island. If you want to stay in central Scotland, there are some lovely options. Why not consider Inchmahome Island for example?



It's on the Lake of Menteith between Stirling and Aberfoyle and takes less than 10 minutes to get to by boat. There are lots of photos on the Undiscovered Scotland website. The island is owned by Historic Scotland and the Lake of Menteith is Scotland's only lake. The other 30,000 (or so!) are lochs of course and there is no definitive answer as to why it's a lake and not a loch - it could simply been a slip of the pen by an English map maker centuries ago! It's a stunning place to be married and one of my favourite venues because:

• it is beautiful in all weathers, with great views of the surrounding hills of the Trossachs. There are countless wonderful photo opportunities!

(Paulie and Stephen came all the way from Australia to be married at Inchmahome!)

• there is a lovely quiet and tranquil feel to the place - it's a real haven of peace
  
• the old Augustinian priory buildings are fascinating and picturesque
  

(a romantic moment for Jim and Audrina who were married in an evening ceremony on the island this August)

• there's a stone pillar that makes a nice focal point for the ceremony
  

• there is a great sense of history. Robert the Bruce visited the island several times during his reign as King and Mary Queen of Scots was hidden there as a child in 1547 before she was taken to safety in France
• The area is very accessible and easy to get to - while the island is secluded, it isn't way off the beaten track
  
• I always love a boat trip and the journey over there just makes the whole experience even more magical! Especially if there's a piper on the peer to welcome you!

(This is local Piper, Tom Dingwall)

• The staff on the island are really friendly and helpful and they'll go out of their way to help to make your big day really special
  

Of course, there are a few things to be aware of if you're considering holding your wedding ceremony on Inchmahome:

• it probably isn't suitable for a huge wedding because each boat (they have 2) only takes 12 passengers, so ferrying everyone across could take a long time!
• the priory is largely a ruin and the only part with a roof is the Chapter House, which isn't large enough to hold many people. That means that if it rains, you're going to get wet!

• you obviously need to arrange to have your reception somewhere else, unless you have a small wedding party and simply decide to stay for a picnic! There are plenty of possible venues nearby, the lovely Lake Hotel being closest (though they can't cater for large wedding parties)
  

Don't let any of these things put you off because if you're planning to have a small, relaxed and intimate wedding, then Inchmahome might be just the place for you! Quite a few of the weddings I've conducted there have consisted of just the bride and groom and their witnesses. In one case, the couple didn't have witnesses and my husband came over with me to take photos for them and act as a witness (the other being the musician). There's no real need to worry about the weather either because there are plenty of places to find shelter, for example under the arched doorways of the priory:


Or under the trees (much of the island is wooded) or in Queen Mary's Bower (named after the other Mary of course!). And so what if it rains anyway? If you want to get married out of doors, just go for it! You'll have fun regardless - just bring your wellies, waterproofs and brollies!

(Paul and Vikki certainly got wet, but they still had a great time!)

All in all, whatever the weather, Inchmahome Island is quite simply a stunning place to be married!

Other islands in central Scotland you might consider are those on Loch Lomond

We like the idea of using a quaich in our ceremony - how can we do this?

The quaich is a traditional Scottish two handled drinking cup. They can be made of wood, silver or pewter and come in a range of sizes.


The quaich is often referred to as 'the loving cup' or cup of welcome or friendship and its two handles make it ideal for sharing.


It is unique to Scotland and part of the tradition of Celtic hospitality was that of welcoming guests with a drink from a quaich. Sharing a cup was also seen as a sign of trust between the people drinking from it - because it is offered and taken with both hands, the drinker could not hold a weapon at the same time and the sharing of the drink was also a guarantee that it hadn't been poisoned!

King James VI of Scotland presented a quaich to Anne of Denmark on the occasion of their marriage in 1589 and since then quaichs have often been used in wedding ceremonies. Drinking from the same cup is a lovely symbol of the love and trust between the couple. Because it is traditionally 'the cup of welcome', drinking from it can also be seen as a way of welcoming the bride and groom into each others' family too.

There are lots of ideas for incorporating a quaich into your ceremony:

• You could each hold onto the cup for the other when you drink, symbolising your togetherness.
• You could drink champagne from the quaich as a way to celebrate your marriage, though it is of course traditional to drink whisky.

• You could have two different drinks to pour into the quaich, the mixing of the two being symbolic of your union as a married couple. Whisky and water are an obvious choice, but if you don't like a dram, there's nothing to stop you from having gin and tonic or Bacardi and coke!
• If you don't fancy whisky, you could alternatively use Scotland's real national drink - Irn Bru! Karen and Paul did this when they got married in 2008 because they wanted their children to share the drink. Their ceremony was as much about celebrating family life as it was about their marriage!

• You could pass the quaich to your attendants (bridesmaid and Best Man), to your respective families or indeed to all of your guests, as a lovely way of sharing your love, trust and happiness with them.
• The quaich could be handed to the bride by the groom's parents and then to the groom by the bride's parents as a way of welcoming each into the others' family.
  
• You could have the quaich engraved with your names and the date of your marriage. By the way, if you don't want to buy your own, I have quaichs in various sizes and I'm more than happy to bring one along for you to use on the day. This is my favourite - it's not too big or too small and is nicely decorated:

• You could use the quaich in other ways too - to pour sand into would be one idea. The grains of sand can never again be separated once they are mixed together and you could use that as a way to symbolise your unity as a couple.
• You could use the quaich as a container for water, perhaps bringing water from two different sources to represent your respective family roots. The water could then be sprinkled onto your joined hands as a way of wishing you good luck.
  
• For the wedding of Calum and Jo a few years ago, we used a quaich with white heather blossom in it and mixed it with corn pollen from a Navajo Indian marriage basket. This was a lovely way to acknowledge their respective roots and to symbolise the joining together of their lives in marriage.
  

Where are there great places to get married in central Scotland?

This is a matter of opinion of course and it's well worth spending some time visiting potential venues to see which ones suit your needs best and have the right 'feel'. In this part of the world, there are numerous lovely places to get married and although this isn't an exhaustive list, here are a few suggestions to get you going! Some of them are suitable for both your ceremony and the reception and others just for the ceremony. By the way, I've listed mainly local venues here, but I'm also quite happy to travel further afield to conduct weddings too! The beauty of living in central Scotland is that I can travel easily to numerous locations north, south, east and west!

Fabulous hotels with great food!

Monachyle Mhor, Balquhidder

The Roman Camp Hotel, Callander

Glenskirlie Castle, Banknock

Cromlix House, Kinbuck

The Gleneagles Hotel, Auchterarder

Castles:

The Great Hall, tower rooms or terraces at Castle Campbell, Dollar

The Great Hall or the Chapel Royal at Stirling Castle

The Great Hall, Laird’s Hall or kitchen at Doune Castle

Culcreuch Castle, Fintry

Airth Castle, near Stirling

Glenskirlie Castle at Banknock

Other historic places:

Inchmahome Priory, Lake of Menteith

Alloa Tower

Cambuskenneth Abbey, Stirling

Innerpeffray Chapel, near Creiff

The Royal Burgh of Culross

Argyll’s Lodging, Stirling

The Wallace Monument, Stirling

Tullibardine Chapel, near Auchterarder

Gean House, Alloa

Solsgirth House, by Dollar

Linlithgow Palace

Callendar House, Falkirk

Places with spectacular views:

Loch Lomond, including the islands such as Inchmurrin and Inchcallioch

Venues on the shores of Loch Lomond such as Cameron House, Duck Bay Marina, Lodge on Loch Lomond and The Cruin

The David Marshall Lodge, Aberfoyle

Inchmahome Priory, Lake of Menteith

Dumyat hill, Stirling

Monachyle Mhor, Balquhidder

Castle Campbell, Dollar

Rowardennan Lodge Youth Hostel

The Harbour Café, Loch Venachar

The Lake Hotel, Lake of Mentieth

Loch Katrine (and the SS Sir Walter Scott)

The Roman Camp Hotel, Callander

Other ideas:

You will have noticed that there are one or two chapels mentioned in the lists above. Although humanist marriages are entirely non-religious in content, it isn't usually a problem (though check with your Celebrant first) to hold the ceremony in a building of religious significance, particularly if it is no longer used for regular worship. Many old chapels have been beautifully renovated and make lovely settings for a wedding - such as Tullibardine Chapel pictured below:

The other thing you might be considering is getting married in your own home or garden and I have conducted some lovely relaxed and informal weddings in such settings. If the house isn't big enough or you'd prefer to be in the garden, you can hire a marquee, either large or small, as shown below:

If you have an out building, a barn or a byre, this could be converted and decorated for the big day. A bit of whitewash, an inexpensive carpet and some nice decorations completely transformed this one for example:

And you might want to consider your local village or community hall too - with a bit of decoration, these places can make lovely (and often inexpensive) venues for weddings!

And finally, don't forget that Humanist Celebrants can conduct legal marriages ANYWHERE in Scotland without the need for a civil licence, so if you have an idea for something unusual of different, just let us know!

We're worried about our vows - do you have any tips?

The exchange of vows is undoubtedly the most important part of the ceremony and often the most meaningful and moving. It's important to think carefully about the promises you want to make to each other, so that the words are sincere and heartfelt. However, this is the bit that couples often worry about - What will I say to my partner? Will I be too nervous to say the words? Will I get a fit of the giggles? Will I get all emotional? Will I get through them?

Please don't worry - we're here to help and the following tips might be useful:

• If you've no idea at this stage what you might want to say to each other, that's no problem. When I meet couples, I always talk through this aspect of the ceremony with them, in order to allay any fears. I have examples for you too and you can take these away to help you to put your own together - they will give you some idea of what you might say and how you might phrase your words. Most couples use the examples as a way to inspire them to write their own, but you could simply pick one off the list if you particularly liked one of them. You don't have to say the same words to each other (though many couples do) and you might even want to keep your vows a secret for one another until the day. Whatever you decide, discuss any concerns you might have with your Celebrant, who will be able to help and advise you.
  
• Please don't worry about getting the giggles! Humanist ceremonies often have a relaxed and informal feel to them (though they can obviously be formal and traditional if that is what you want) so it's not like getting getting caught giggling in assembly at school (so you did that too then?!). Nor is the Celebrant going to be disapproving in any way - in fact, it's much more likely that they will laugh along with you! You should enjoy your wedding ceremony and feel comfortable with whatever emotions you're feeling at the time.

(This is Deborah and Zach during their lovely informal wedding in 2006)

• Don't worry about getting emotional either. I'm always on hand with tissues to pass to you if you need them - or just an encouraging little word to help you to carry on. I can even take over altogether if you really dry up - but you won't, so relax!
• Nerves can sometimes get to you, but again, I'll be there to reassure you and I'll whisper things like 'take a deep breath' to you!
• There are different ways to express your vows to each other:

1. You can phrase your vows as a question (you decide what the question is obviously) that I, as your Marriage Celebrant, ask. You then simply respond, 'I do' or if it's a joint question, 'we will'. This is a good option if you're feeling nervous and would prefer not to say too much during the ceremony.
2. You can make a short statement to each other. I usually advise that you read from a card rather than putting yourself under pressure by trying to memorise the words. I'll pass you the card at the appropriate time and that in itself will give you confidence.

(Pictured here are Lynne and Adam, now Mr and Mrs Higgins at their wedding at Monachyle Mhor. Aren't Lynne's flowers lovely? This is a wedding flower bracelet or wrist corsage by Floristic Design)

• One thing that I find helps a lot is to hold hands and to look at each other when you exchange your vows (rather than looking at me). As I often remind couples, you're marrying each other and not me! And it doesn't matter if you speak quietly either - the vows are between you as bride and groom...

(This is Elaine and Calum at their wedding this summer in the stunning grounds of the Strathblane Country House Hotel)

• Make your vows short and sweet too. You can almost certainly say what you want to say in a few sentences and there's less chance of breaking down.
• In addition to your personal vows, you are also required to make a legal declaration to each other (see my posting about the legal procedures) and I usually do this in a 'repeat after me' format. Many couples find this format very reassuring because you can't really go wrong - there's no pressure on you to remember anything.
  

Whatever worries and concerns you have about your vows, discuss them with your Celebrant and you'll find that they will give you all sorts of advice and help!

What do we need to do about the legal procedures?

The first thing to stress is that the legal procedures are very straightforward! However, the following points should help you through the process:

What does the paperwork consist of?

Marriage Notices

In order to be legally married, you need to obtain Marriage Notice (M10) forms. You fill one in each - basically to inform the registrar that you want to marry each other! It is always advisable to phone the Registrar before submitting your Marriage Notices, to make sure that you have all the necessary supporting documents and to check their fees. This is what the Marriage Notice Form looks like:


The Marriage Schedule

The Marriage Schedule is the document that you, your Celebrant and your two witnesses sign on the day and this is what it looks like (though yours won't have 'specimen' written all over it obviously!):



The Marriage Certificate

You will be sent your Marriage Certificate when the Marriage Schedule has been submitted to the Registrar after the wedding. This is the document you get to keep, your proof that you are legally married!

What if we aren't UK citizens?

It is important to check carefully with the Registrar to see what additional documentation you need in order to marry in Scotland. You will need evidence of your nationality and if you are not a European (EEA) citizen, other documentation will also be required. The website for the Registrar General for Scotland gives useful information and guidelines on this.

It would also be advisable to phone the local Registrar for advice too and you should do this as soon as you possibly can so that there is no danger of the paperwork not being through on time!

When do we have to submit our paperwork?

You can't submit the paperwork until 12 weeks before the wedding, but you can get the forms all ready to send off. You can collect a marriage pack from the Registrar or go onto the website for the Registrar General for Scotland to download everything.

The guidelines suggest that you submit your Marriage Notices to the Registrar 4-6 weeks before the wedding, but it can be done 12 weeks before and personally, I always advise couples to do it as early as possible within this time. It's an important job that you can then tick off your TO DO list!

The Marriage Schedule (the document you sign on your wedding day) is usually available to collect from the Registrar about a week before the wedding and you will need to collect it in person (either you or your partner, not necessarily both of you). All you have to do then is to remember to bring it along on the day! Your Celebrant will almost certainly remind you about it - but bear in mind that they will not be able to legally marry you without the Marriage Schedule! In fact, they wouldn't even be able to pretend to do so and catch up with the paperwork later on - solemnising a marriage without the necessary documentation is actually a criminal offence, believe it or not! So, don't give us a heart attack on that one folks! Remember to collect your Marriage Schedule from the Registrar and remember to bring it along on the day of the wedding!

The signed Marriage Schedule then has to be returned to the same Registrar within 3 days of the marriage taking place (note, 3 days, NOT 3 working days!) and anyone can do this for you, so you can breath a sigh of relief if you're going away on honeymoon immediately after the wedding and don't have time to do it yourselves! Well, you can if you've entrusted this important job to someone responsible anyway! Once the Registrar has your signed Marriage Schedule, they can register your marriage and issue your Marriage Certificate.

Which Registrar do we submit our Marriage Notices to?

It is important to submit the paperwork to the right Registrar and one quick phone call to them in advance will put you right. Basically, it has to be a Registrar within the Registration District where the wedding is to take place - i.e. not the one local to your home, but the one local to the wedding venue. Registration Districts cover large areas and there will be several Registration Offices in each district. You can submit your paperwork to any one of these offices, as long as it is the right Registration District for the venue. So, for example, if you were getting married at the Roman Camp Hotel in Callander, it would make sense to submit your Marriage Notices to the Callander Registrar, but you could, if you wanted to, submit them to any other Register Office in the Stirling district, including Aberfoyle or Dunblane for example.

Registration districts are now aligned with Local Authority areas and the main Register Officer for venues in the central belt are as follows:

• Stirling – Municipal Buildings, 8-10 Corn Exchange Road, Stirling, FK8 2HU. Tel. 01786 432343. Website: Stirling Registrar
• Alloa – Marshill House, Alloa, FK10 1AB. Tel. 01259 723850. Website: Alloa Registrar
• Falkirk – Old Burgh Buildings, Newmarket Street, Falkirk, FK1 1JE. Tel 01324 506580. Website:Falkirk Registrar
• Perth and Kinross – 5 High Street, Perth, PH1 5JS. Tel. 01738 475121. Website: Perth and Kinross Registrar

Where can we get married?

If you choose a Humanist ceremony, don't forget that the venue doesn't have to have a Civil Licence as it would if a Registrar was to conduct a ceremony there. This means that you can have a legal Humanist marriage ANYWHERE IN SCOTLAND without the need for the venue to be licensed in any way. The only proviso is that the location is "safe and dignified".

It is important to stress that the marriage MUST take place on the date and in the place detailed on the Marriage schedule. So for example, if you plan to marry outdoors and have a contingency plan to move to another location indoors if the weather is bad, you will need to double check those arrangements with the Registrar before the day.

What happens on the day?

On the day of the wedding, it is vital to remember to bring along the Marriage Schedule and to hand it to your Marriage Celebrant before the ceremony. You need 2 people to witness and sign it and they can be anyone, known or unknown to you, related or unrelated, as long as they are 16 years of age or over. The Registrar may ask you for the details of the witnesses before the day of the wedding.

(This is Kevin and Mandy and their witnesses at the 2006 wedding on Inchmahome Island on the Lake of Menteith)

As part of the Humanist ceremony and in addition to whatever personal vows or promises you wish to make, you will each be asked to make a declaration to the other. This is a legal necessity and the declaration can take various forms, but is usually along the lines of repeating a statement, such as the following, after the Celebrant:

"I Mary Jane Jones / solemnly and sincerely declare / that I accept you Peter John Smith / as my lawfully wedded husband"

Once you have each made such a declaration, the Celebrant is required to make a legal declaration to pronounce you husband and wife - and I can safely say that this is the best job ever! It's a pleasure and a privilege!

Immediately after these declarations, the Marriage Schedule is then signed.

Please note the following:

• Signing: the bride signs in her maiden name or the name she was known by before the wedding (a previous married name for example). In other words girls, you don’t sign in your new married name (if you’re changing it of course)! The Schedule is also signed by the Celebrant and by the two witnesses.
• The pen: A special pen is required for the signing, but your Celebrant will supply it. It has to be a permanent black ink pen and if the Registrar mentions it, you can reassure them that your Celebrant has such a pen!

• The signatures: There may also be a signature form with the Schedule – so that the Registrar can decipher your signatures (do you sign as Mary Jane Jones, M. Jones or M.J. Jones for example?) Your Celebrant should fill this form in for you.
• Returning the Schedule: Once the Marriage Schedule has been signed, it is essential that it is returned to the same Registrar who issued it, within 3 days of the wedding. If you are unable to return it yourself, you will need to ask someone trustworthy and responsible to do it for you. The Celebrant will ask who that person is and ensure that the Schedule is in their safekeeping after the ceremony. Once the Registrar has the signed Marriage Schedule, they will then prepare and send you a copy of the Marriage Certificate - and now that you're legally married, you can celebrate and live happily ever after!

(This is Mike and Alison Swan after their 2006 wedding at Doune Castle)

What if we have any questions?

If you have any queries about the legal stuff, you Celebrant might be able to help, but the first port of call should ideally be the Registrar. Advice of a more general nature can also be found on the website for the Registrar General for Scotland