What is distinctive about a humanist wedding?

• Humanist and inclusive

Well, the first thing to say is that they are humanist of course! Humanist weddings are inclusive and because they concentrate on the things we all have in common, they tend to appeal to everyone, regardless of their individual beliefs. Humanism is a non-religious but ethical life stance about respecting and caring for one another and the world in which we live (good without god if you like!). If your granny is a church goer, she might be a bit bemused (or even concerned) about what a humanist ceremony involves, but you can reassure her that she'll probably love it! People who've never been to one of our ceremonies don't always 'get it' beforehand - but I can almost guarantee that they will 'get it' afterwards. Even people with strong religious beliefs often remark afterwards that they really enjoyed the ceremony. I should stress that there is NEVER anything anti-religious in our ceremonies - they are non-religious, but always in the context of humanist principles and values about consideration and respect for others. And by the way, in the interests of equality, I tend not to use the following expressions in my ceremonies:

"Man and wife" (why not "woman and husband?") (I usually just say "husband and wife" or in the case of a same sex marriage, "wife and wife" or "husband and husband")

"Who gives this woman?" (why not "who gives this man?"!) (I just don't ask this question!)

"You may kiss the bride" (why not "you may kiss the groom?"!) (Actually, I simply say "you may kiss!")

And on the subject of kissing:

Err... not sure if the dog should get the first kiss Doug! Our ceremonies are Humanist, not Caninist (is that a word?!), but actually I love and welcome dogs at weddings!

Read on for more on this subject and for a video clip of one of my weddings. 

Can you recommend a photographer or videographer?

I'd hesitate to make a recommendation because choosing a wedding photographer is such a personal thing. It doesn't matter what I think anyway - the only important thing is the you feel comfortable with the style and approach of the person who'll be taking your wedding photographs. There are a lot of professionals to choose from and it's worth chatting to a few of them to discuss your ideas and to find out what they have to offer.

The photographers I've worked with locally include:
George Lammie at George Lammie Photographs in Alloa
Mike Cook at mcookphotography in Falkirk
Martin and Elaine Weir at Weir Photography in Alloa
Whyler Photos in Stirling
Jennifer at Jenniflower Weddings in Stirling
Emma Gray at emmagrayphotography in Falkirk
Bryan and Stacey Mr and Mrs M at Picturesque in Falkirk
Rhoddy Stewart at Rhoddy Stewart Photography in Falkirk
Ashley Coombes at ashleycoombes.co.uk in Gartmore near Stilring
John at Corona Photographic in Stirling
Brian and Paula at Crieff Photography
Kirsty at kirstywinfieldphotography in Stirling
Stephen McCluskey in Stirling
Abbie Allardyce in Callander
Graham MacKay at Graham Mackay Photography in Cumbernauld
Stewart Hislop at Bright Yellow Photography in Falkirk
Aileen Stewart at aileenstewart.com in Stirling
Alastair Jolly at alastairjolly.com in Falkirk
John Rae at John Rae in Larbert

What if I get emotional on the day?

No worries! Feeling emotional on your wedding day is natural and I’ll always have tissues at the ready! So far my record is a five hankie wedding by the way! They were all for the bride on that occasion, but actually, it’s often the grooms who go first – so be warned guys! The bride's entry is often the point at which the guys need a tissue: 

(photo by Angus Forbes)

Read on for more on this subject and to view a video clip of one of my weddings.

How do we enter and how do we stand?

I often get asked questions about wedding etiquette and in particular, things like which side of her dad should the bride be on when they enter at the start of the ceremony? Just in case you're wondering too, it is traditional for the bride to take her dad's right arm, so that he walks down the aisle on the left, which is traditionally 'the bride's side'. Someone other than dad may of course be 'giving the bride away', such as in the case of Michelle above, whose Gran had the honour of escorting her on her wedding day. As you can see, in this case the bride decided to walk on her Gran's left rather than the right. 

You could of course decide to move completely away from tradition and walk in together as bride and groom! And by the way, I often refer to the 'giving away' tradition during the ceremony and say that in reality there isn't any giving away because the two of you have already given your hearts to each other. It's a nice way of saying that you have a relationship of equals and that there is no relinquishing of ownership on the part of the father of the bride - and indeed, no claiming of ownership by the groom! At the same time, I always like to make a big fuss of dads for their role on the big day!