Congratulations on your engagement and thanks for looking at my blog!

Congratulations on your engagement and thanks for looking at my blog!

How to use this blog

This blog is structured as a series of questions and under each posting, I've provided what I hope will be helpful advice for you in planning your humanist wedding. All of the posts are on one page, but each one has been condensed in size, so to read the full details, just click on the post title or 'read more'. When you get to the end of the post, just click on 'home' to get back to the full page of posts. If you're interested in a particular subject, you can also click on the list to the left or you can do your own search by using the box below.

I've started with a short video clip, so happy watching, happy reading and happy wedding planning!

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What will help to calm our nerves?

The first thing to say is that almost everyone feels a bit nervous on their wedding day - it goes with the territory! You're excited, you want to look your best, you want everything to go well.... And there are a lot of things I can do to help! Here are a few of my top tips for dealing with nerves:
  • One thing that will help a lot is that I'll be drafting everything for you and sending it to you well before the big day, so by that time you'll be very familiar with the content and structure of the ceremony. Knowing what's coming really helps.
  • A rehearsal can help too if you're very nervous. I always leave it to you to decide whether you need a rehearsal or not. I have to say that the majority of couples don't bother with one because they've seen the script beforehand and because I'm always there an hour early on the day to go through the practicalities, to liaise with readers, musicians or hotel staff and to make sure that everything is set up as it should be. By the way, I almost never conduct more than one wedding in one day, so that I can really be there for you rather than nervously clock watching!
  • Before the ceremony, I'll be chatting to the groom and helping to calm any nerves. One groom took the time to email me after the big day to say, "I really appreciate the way you calmed me down before the ceremony - I was a little nervous (to say the least!) but chatting to you really did help. Thanks for all the advice and help beforehand too"