Why should we choose a Humanist Society Scotland Celebrant?

Well, I'm tempted to say because we're the original and the best! And do you know what? We really are! Here's a short video clip explaining why I think the Humanist Society Scotland is the best possible choice you can make for your big day:

And here are a few more reasons to choose a Celebrant from the Humanist Society Scotland:

• The HSS have many years of experience and were the first to be authorised (way back in 2005) to conduct legal weddings by the Registrar General for Scotland. We are by far the longest standing and most popular provider of humanist wedding ceremonies in Scotland.
• On Valentine's Day 2017, we were also very proud to become the first ever non-religious organisation to be awarded prescribed status in law by the Scottish parliament. This is recognition of the fact that we are a trusted provider of humanist ceremonies in Scotland and in practice this means that we now have the authority to authorise our own Celebrants to solemnise marriage (and to register civil partnerships). We are the only Humanist organisation in Scotland to be in this privileged position and it means that our Celebrants no longer have to constantly re-apply (every year or every 3 years) for the authority to conduct legal marriages. That removes any uncertainty for you - so when you book your wedding, you never have to worry about whether your HSS wedding Celebrant will have the required legal authorisation on your big day, because they will! 
• We have an extensive network of Celebrants throughout Scotland (over 120 and counting!) and this means that in an emergency, we can find you a replacement Celebrant (at no extra cost to you). This is part of what we call The HSS Promise.

What is distinctive about a humanist wedding?

• Humanist and inclusive

Well, the first thing to say is that they are humanist of course! Humanist weddings are inclusive and because they concentrate on the things we all have in common, they tend to appeal to everyone, regardless of their individual beliefs. Humanism is a non-religious but ethical life stance about respecting and caring for one another and the world in which we live (good without god if you like!). If your granny is a church goer, she might be a bit bemused (or even concerned) about what a humanist ceremony involves, but you can reassure her that she'll probably love it! People who've never been to one of our ceremonies don't always 'get it' beforehand - but I can almost guarantee that they will 'get it' afterwards. Even people with strong religious beliefs often remark afterwards that they really enjoyed the ceremony. I should stress that there is NEVER anything anti-religious in our ceremonies - they are non-religious, but always in the context of humanist principles and values about consideration and respect for others. And by the way, in the interests of equality, I tend not to use the following expressions in my ceremonies:

"Man and wife" (why not "woman and husband?") (I usually just say "husband and wife" or in the case of a same sex marriage, "wife and wife" or "husband and husband")

"Who gives this woman?" (why not "who gives this man?"!) (I just don't ask this question!)

"You may kiss the bride" (why not "you may kiss the groom?"!) (Actually, I simply say "you may kiss!")

And on the subject of kissing:

Err... not sure if the dog should get the first kiss Doug! Our ceremonies are Humanist, not Caninist (is that a word?!), but actually I love and welcome dogs at weddings!

Read on for more on this subject and for a video clip of one of my weddings. 

We're worried about our vows - do you have any tips?

The exchange of vows is undoubtedly the most important part of the ceremony and often the most meaningful and moving. It's important to think carefully about the promises you want to make to each other on your wedding day, so that the words are sincere and heartfelt. One couple who gave a lot of thought to their vows were Alan and Fiona:

"Alan and I have written our own vows, and we have tried to include promises which are important to us and our relationship. We decided to write these together, as we were keen to make the same promises as each other. However, while we will each say more or less the same thing, there are a couple of lines which are different – and which represent sort of “mirror image” promises, rather than the exact same one.
We had some fun writing them, and it’s fair to say, some disagreements – we can each be quite strong-willed, so there were some passionate debates over the choice each and every word, as well as the sequence of the promises... But, I think we have finally come up with a version which we are both really happy with... We had a bit of a practice the other night, and I had goosebumps (and tears in my eyes!). I think they are all promises which we already try to live by – but somehow the idea of saying them out loud, in front of other people, brings a whole new significance..."

Fiona and Alan were well prepared and said their vows beautifully on the day, but this is often the part of the ceremony that couples worry most about - What should we say to one another? How nervous will I be? Will I get a fit of the giggles? Will I get all emotional? Will I get through them?

Please don't worry - we're here to help and the following tips might be useful:

How can we incorporate candle lighting into our ceremony?

The lighting of candles is a lovely symbolic gesture to include in your ceremony. I usually suggest that you each light a candle near the start of the ceremony to symbolise your separate lives before your marriage. Here's a short youtube clip of Alison and David lighting their individual candles at Airth Castle (video by Sharp Focus).  It's just before they then go on to exchange their vows and wedding rings, so you can watch that too. Although the video clip stops when I pronounce them husband and wife, they went on to light a third candle after that, to symbolise the joining together of their lives in marriage. The 'marriage' or 'unity' candle is lit by each of you taking a flame from each of the first two candles and lighting the third one together. This makes a nice photograph as you can see in this picture of Margaret and Jay during their wedding at the historic Alloa Tower

What if I get emotional on the day?

No worries! Feeling emotional on your wedding day is natural and I’ll always have tissues at the ready! So far my record is a five hankie wedding by the way! They were all for the bride on that occasion, but actually, it’s often the grooms who go first – so be warned guys! The bride's entry is often the point at which the guys need a tissue: 

(photo by Angus Forbes)

Read on for more on this subject and to view a video clip of one of my weddings.

So what exactly is hand fasting?

Hand fasting is an ancient Celtic marriage ritual and it involves tying a piece of tartan (or cord or ribbon if you prefer) around your joined hands, as a symbolic way of representing your union as a married couple. It may well be where the expression 'tying the knot' came from! The 1995 film, 'Braveheart' shows William Wallace (Mel Gibson of course) and the love of his life, Murron, having a hand fasting ceremony. The original idea was that it was a kind of engagement - the couple would be betrothed for a year and a day before they then married. If you decide to have a hand fasting, I always make a point of saying that although that was the tradition, your hand fast will be for life! There are a few different ways for a hand fasting to be done and your Celebrant will be able to give you ideas. This video clip from lovely Lindsey and Adam's wedding shows how I usually do handfasting. I think it's important to exchange your vows in the handfast because that is symbolic of the fact that your vows are binding promises that you're making to each other: